Why is everyone so angry at Bill Burr for performing at the Riyadh Comedy Festival? Blame the bots, Burr said during a surprise guest appearance this week on the Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend podcast, per the Hollywood Reporter.
“The general consensus is, ‘How dare you go to that place and make those oppressed people laugh, you fucking piece of shit. I can’t believe you went to that place. I can’t find it on a map, and this bot said I was upset about it, so now I am,’” Burr ranted. “It’s one thing to wear clothes made by sweatshop labor. It’s quite another to go to the factory and make ’em laugh. I can’t believe how much anger I had about this issue after it went viral.”
Who’s programming the woke bot mob? Why are they targeting Bill Burr? Does Burr have special bot-detection software?
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Those questions remain unanswered as the comedian defended himself against his virtual online attackers, even though he doesn’t “give a fuck what all these phony fucking people are saying.”
Burr fought back with the “Our government is bad too” defense, because as everyone knows, wrong plus wrong equals right. “Jesus Christ, we’re fucking grabbing moms and dads and sticking ’em in a van for making illegally made fucking tacos to go to Alligator Alcatraz,” he fumed. “It’s fucking insane. Someday, they’re gonna be out of brown people to put in those vans. They’re still gonna have the vans, so you shouldn’t be feeling comfortable about it.”
Burr’s got a point about those American outrages — did he speak about them at Riyadh?
As the comedian picked up steam about “one of the top three experiences” he’s ever had, Burr decided that maybe bots weren’t to blame after all — it’s his fellow comedians, or as he likes to call them, “all of these sanctimonious (c-slurs) out there.” According to Burr, the comics who criticize Riyadh comedians “don’t really sincerely give a shit.” Crawl back into your holes, Marc Maron and David Cross!
While Burr gave credit to gay Jewish comic Jessica Kirson for doing a set in Riyadh (“That’s the biggest balls of anyone I’ve ever seen”), he acknowledged that she’s had second thoughts and expressed her regrets. Kirson was forced into her apology, said Burr, by “hardcore psycho gays. Fucking lunatics, man.”
Burr conceded that the bots’ blowback might cool his comedy career, but so what? “I really don’t give a fuck, Conan.” If online attacks mean fewer gigs at clubs around the country, so be it. “I’ve been to LAX enough in my life,” he said. “I’ll fucking sit home for a little bit. I will actually tell you LAX is slightly sadder than Saudi Arabia.”
