Mark David Chapman Decides To Just Go With It After Receiving January 6 Pardon

BEEKMAN, NY—Upon receiving the news that his name had somehow been included in an executive order granting clemency to nearly 1,600 rioters, Mark David Chapman reportedly decided to just go with it Monday when he was pardoned alongside the Jan. 6 defendants. “Well, sure, I guess I’ll just say here that I’ve been held hostage by a crooked justice system, and, I guess, I thank President Trump for his support,” said John Lennon’s 69-year-old assassin, who shrugged and muttered “good enough” after being informed by a Green Haven Correctional Facility guard that his lifetime sentence for the brutal slaying of the musician and political activist had, for some reason, been commuted by the new administration. “I was a…political scapegoat? Sure, let’s go with that. In fact, if my name sounds familiar at all, it’s probably just because the liberal media has slandered me. Now let’s get back to making America great again!” Chapman announced that he was excited to work with other recently released Proud Boys and recommended all of its members start by reading J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher In The Rye.